bittersweet.

graduationdone

This year I finished my second year of university and whilst many boast about the great and unforgettable experiences they have had during their time, I cannot help but have a bittersweet relationship with my BA honours degree.

Now let’s not be mistaken, I was not forced or placed under any pressure to go to university, I was a smart kid with great potential and a desire to learn, so why not?

So I did. However, it was the feeling of monotony and the draining essays and exams that came along with deciding to do a degree that left me with the emptiness towards education. A constant loop of anxiousness and stress.

Studying International Relations (I hear you ask what that is; think history + politics + theory = explaining the world) has made me consider my political perspective, my own ideas towards society and people within it – but also myself. Which is what university should do, make you an ‘independent learner’, who engages and enjoys learning about their chosen subject, but also enjoy how your life changes with it.

But the cycle of learn-revise-exams and repeat from GCSE’s through to A-Levels and now university, has left my brain frazzled and to some extent, not worried about what I am learning, but what I can remember.

Learning is not fun anymore.

And that is why I often find myself daydreaming during lectures and seminars, worrying about the unstable WiFi in the lecture theatre and wondering what flavoured Ribena I will get from Sainsbury’s today.

There is one more year until I graduate, and hopefully I will not only have a piece of paper that will credit my name with a Bachelor of Arts degree, but also something that will credit my mind

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