piecing our puzzle…


Coming to the end of my teenage years, the hormones, the worries and the confusion have all begun to lift…and I can finally say that whilst there are still days where I do feel like an insecure chubby 15 year-old, that I no longer need to rely on the expectations of the world and others.

It has taken time and understanding to realise that these expectations I often place upon myself are all just dreams, wishes and hopes of OTHERS, particularly mainstream media. Both women and girls all around the world, worry about their weight, their height, their features and all their imperfections (stretch marks, scars, cellulite, acne) and whilst some battle to become slimmer, many are attempting to become ‘thicker’.

Now, by no means, shall we sit on our high horse and judge others for their weight or choices they make to feel comfortable within themselves, as I previously stated in my last post about hair, but why are we all desiring to look the same?

That’s something we have to think about….*sips Kermit’s tea*

And whilst we all scream that we are ‘different’ and ‘unique’, many young women are actually becoming and desiring to look the same.

Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, and all many other American ‘ratchet’ shows are my guilty pleasure… and I’m not the only one! Whilst many argue that it doesn’t represent the successful black community in America well, due to their repeated foul behaviour, derogatory comments and focus on the ‘turn up’ – I cannot deny that it is entertaining, the same way many people would find Jersey Shore entertaining.

What is most interesting about the influx of these reality drama based TV programmes, is that whilst we all accept it as a platform to be entertained, many young women are being influenced by the looks and even the values that some of the female characters display on these shows. A slim waist, with thick thighs, a ridiculous booty, long flowing weaves, long nails, some sort of designer attire and a SASSY attitude – also known as the ‘bad bitch’.


But if we all support this image and start to become it, criticise others for not fitting the description – then where is the room to be different?

Recently, Serena Williams won her 36th Grand Slam title at Wimbledon at the age of 33, and has been classed at the world’s number one female tennis player. But, instead of focusing on her accolades and her brilliant career as a tennis player – people slammed her for her body shape and eyebrows.

Sometimes we’ve got to understand that we all have different body shapes – and people have their preferences, but we shouldn’t ridicule someone that does not fit our definition of beauty.

Sometimes we also have to understand that we can leave our house without the contoured brows, without the worry about being criticised for not looking like a superstar everyday. And that, everybody has flaws anyway – so going to the corner shop should not feel like you’re going on to the set of Love and Hip Hop, but simply just to get some milk.

Your life is a big puzzle, don’t let everyone try to piece you together!  

So when you drop those expectations and embrace yourself…

Teirra Mari - LHHLA GIF.


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